What it is like to live with an ogre (or what is it like to live with a schizophrenic)


Yes you read that right. I do in fact live with Shrek; Dreamwork’s mythical green ogre from the mythical land of Far Far Away. Or at least his retarted and long-lost twin brother. But anyway, an ogre is an ogre is an ogre.

No, I kid I kid. Of course, he’s not an ogre, but he is an obese, disgusting, greedy, lazy schizophrenic who refuses to take his medicine.

He yells and yells and yells all day and everyday. Sometimes he’s screaming for an angel to leave him alone, or to stop putting the dick in his mouth, or about a Jewish girl, or about a fucking nigger, or a black Mexican nigger, or the ever inaudible, “doo doo menshin” and about a thousand other things. Sometimes he randomly swings at some invisible person, or beast, or troll or whatever the fuck he imagines.

But no, there’s more. He never washes his hands, he never cleans up after himself or after he cooks, he’ll shower every other day, he’ll get up at random hours of the night and start yelling, he’ll go outside and scream for the entire neighborhood to hear (some neighbor even went as far as calling the police), he’ll only drink coffee. So you ask, “what’s wrong with drinking coffee’? That’s not the fucking problem. The problem is that he’s gotten into a fucking habit of overfilling the water boiler thingamjig, which will cause it to overflow and spill, that in turn will cause the fire in the stove to go out which will then cause a fucking gas leak. There have been numerous times that I walk into the house, and the whole fucking place smells like gas. This idiot doesn’t notice it because since the fire is out, the coffee maker won’t whistle and thus he’ll never come to check on it.

But noooo, there is still more for you little ninnies to listen to.

He is addicted to soda. Like really fucking addicted. Sometime ago, an uncle of mine (whose guts I also fucking hate) came over and my Ogre asked him to go out and bring him some soda. Like any fucking idiot would do, my uncle agreed. Now the Ogre will not stop yelling at my Grandmother, ordering her to call him and make him drive 50 fucking miles over just to buy him a pack of soda and some Kentucky Fried Chicken. He simply will not listen to reason.

I’d like to attend school, but sometimes, because of the Ogre’s incessant yelling, I can hardly concentrate enough to write a post for this blog, or read a book or even watch TV.

My grandparents are unfortunately very old fashioned. Their solution to the Ogre’s mental disability is, and I am not fucking making this shit up, an exorcism. Buuuut since the only person capable of making an exorcism happen is half-way sane (my 3rd uncle who I also don’t really like that much, but can get along with), that’s not likely to happen. But he did invest in some scented and supposedly holy spray called Ruda. Well anyway, whenever the Ogre gets out of line, my grandmother will get the Ruda bottle and spray it all over him. According to my grandfather, performing this ritual scares away the demons and makes the Ogre feel all fluffy and happy inside.

Sometimes I really hate him and sometimes I cannot help but wish that he would finally have a heart attack and drop dead.

Wouldn’t it be better for people who are clearly never going to get better or go on to live normal lives, to be allowed to die? Why keep them alive? For example, an extremely autistic child who is unruly and cannot reason, and who thinks it is fun to do bare-ass butt scoots across the carpet and fling feces at its parents, why do we force it keep living? Why fuck our own lives up just to help someone who will never be able to help himself? That, I think is unethical.

Stupid Person: “But Afro-Atheist, how could you say that?” It’s simple, let me answer your question with a question of my own; Would you want to be kept alive in a state of mental retardation? You will never get better. You can never be cured. You will live a long, pitiful and pathetic life only as a burden to either your family or the state. You are a drain on resources. You contribute nothing. You are merely a cash-cow and in my Ogre’s case, quite literally.

I for one sure as fucking hell would not. So why force others to? For the sake of everybody’s sanity, please put them out of their misery!

You people would criticize me for having these thoughts, but until you’ve had to deal with someone like this, you can just shut your fucking mouth. :)

Cliffs for those of you who didn’t read

1.) Fuck my life
2.) Fuck my life
3.) Fuck my life
4.) Fuck my life
5.) Fuck my life

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s